Well they found it...!

..my brain that is. The MRI scan confirmed that I do (contrary to some people's misconception perception) have a brain - a remarkably well formed one at that! Oh, and from a tumour point of view the scan appeared to be clear, which leaves the small nodule in my lung as the only identified/visible active tumour. As it stands I'm still waiting for a date for surgery. Normal Royal Marsden service resumed when the surgeon never received the CD of my scans. After much chasing and hassling I managed to get a replacement disc sent, only for them both to arrive on the same day, 2 weeks after my referral! I was hoping to get in quick and be out in time to be relatively fit for Xmas but I should know better than to make plans...!

..another update.

Well I know it's been a little quiet this end - symptomatic of the fact that I'm currently playing the waiting game. My original date for the PET scan was delayed due to the scanner breaking down, which put me back a week. I finally had the PET scan last Wed and met with my consultant to review the results on Friday. The PET scan re-confirms the small tumour in my left lung is showing some activity but that the scan did not pick up anything else (or anything that's within the scanners sensitivity), so it looks like surgery is definitely on the cards. The week before I had asked about the chances of cancer spreading to my other testicle and a week later the consultant 'suddenly' suggested arranging an ultrasound scan of my 'bits' (which were clear) and a MRI scan for my brain - 'just to make sure'. The MRI scan is scheduled for today and I should get the result later in the week - thats presuming they can find my brain!

The morning after the weekend before...

Well I crossed my fingers but should have crossed toes as well. The CT scan showed the tumour in my right lung unchanged and my tumour marker has started to increase. The upshot is the high-dose chemo has not had the desired effect.  The view is that my cancer has become chemo resistant so they see no benefit in going through high-dose chemo and its own associated risk again - it's back to the surgery route as a last option.

I'm due to have a PET scan in the next two weeks in order to check there is nothing else to worry about and then I expect they will get on with surgery pretty quickly - same operation as I had in June but on my right-side. At least I'll have matching scars - it'll look like its where my angel wings have been clippped.

Update

Back to my favourite place today - The Royal Marsden for post-transplant check-up and a CT scan. The blood-test showed my blood has recovered remarkably and its essentially back to normal following the high-dose chemotherapy, which means they can schedule me in for the second lot - 2 weeks today! Thats dependent upon the results of the CT scan and tumour markers, which I'll receive on Friday. It's a strange thing hoping that they'll let me have another hit of high-dose chemo and another transplant - but its infinitely more preferable to them deciding its not worthwhile. High-dose here I come...fingers crossed!!

He's coming home...!!!

Well, a bit of a surprise. The doc came to see me this morning, confirmed my blood counts had risen again and then he casually mentioned I can go home today!! They must need the bed or something!

Have felt much better over the past couple of days. The Urology consultant came to see me yesterday - he was surprised to see me looking so well - it's not normal. He'll arrange tumour marker and CT scan tests over the next couple of weeks before assessing the next step.

Here's a pic of my humble abode. I gave myself a no.2 trim yesterday as my hair started coming out in clumps. Not a problem if I missed a bit with the clippers - I simply pulled out the offending hair and voila!

I can't say I'll be sad to leave but the room has been fine, the nurses have been great, the foods been OK(ish) and the chemo bearable. I'll take that!

Gonna feel a bit funny being back at home. Michelle has a stinking cold so I guess I'l be in the spare room tonight - not that I have the energy for anything else!

Back in the land of the living....

...well, just anyway. Past week has been a blur of sickness, diaorrhea (can anyone spell it?) and excruciating stomach pains as the chemo side effects took hold. As well as my mobile giving up he ghost a week ago (apologies to those messages I havent responded to) I've been too unwell to even sit at the PC. I was basically in the position whereby of I didn't eat, didn't drink and didn't move I was OK'ish. Didn't eat for 4 days, been on IV fluids to keep me hydrated as I couldn't be bothered to drink. And I've had reminders that "I should have had the nasal tube put back in" every day from the nurses - well I've been sick every other day so what would have been the point.? Just started to eat a few cornflakes over past couple of days and feeling much better. My blood count is at its low point and my hair is now falling out in clumps, but I feel I'm on the up (a bit like the Toon!). The only trouble with eating is that I am back exposed to the vagueries of hospital food, which is enough to make you lose your appetite even if you are fully healthy!

There's light.....and it's not a train coming.....I hope!!

Gets up my nose!

Well it was rather uncomfortable to say the least. Sticking a bloody great big yellow tube up my left nostril with the intention of then threading it down the back of your throat and down into my stomach. And all so that they can drip-feed me if they need. "Give me some decent food and I'll eat it!", I say!. After two attempts on my left nostril and my eyes already streaming they give up and go for my right nostril! A push or four, pain, watering eyes, a few gulps and its down, "Ooh, just a bit further", push, swallow, and its in. It's not nice, believe me. An x-ray confirms its not far enough down, so a few more pushes and its taped into place, looping attractively from my nostril to behind my ear.

The next morning after no sleep due to worrying whether I'm going to dislodge my nasal umbilical cord I'm turfed out of bed for a shower. Feeling fine one minute, then a little queasy the next. Being sick while having a nasal feed tube is not a good idea. It takes me a few seconds to realise why I have one end of a long tube hanging out of my mouth and the other out of my nose.....not a pretty sight! I've seen this trick on TV...nasal floss! It isn't nice and of course it means I'm gonna have to go throught insertion process all over again!

Transplant Day!

The 'big' day arrived as somewhat of an anticlimax. The perception of a transplant sounds rather grand but in fact involves one nurse wheeling in a Dusty-bin type contraption in which my frozen stem cells (which were a lovely salmon pink colour) are stored, a defrosting bath in which the stem cell bags are then immersed at 40 degrees , before they are transferred to about a dozen large syringes, whence they are pushed up my PICC line by another nurse with a bionic thumb!

One side effect is the smell of sweetcorn, due to the preservative used to store the cells. Apparently it will emminate from within me for the next few days - not good when you're already feeling nauseous!

Due to have a nasal feed tube inserted tomorrow so they can feed me a liquid diet (Guinness, Tennants Super?) while I am asleep.

I'm not here!!

Hope no-one was planning on visiting today! I'm not here (or there). I've been allowed out on bail for 24 hours. Finished the 4 days chemo on Saturday night and seeing as though it hasnt hit me yet, they've allowed me home for 24 hours. Due back Monday afternoon in time for my stem cell transplant on Tuesday.

Haven't been too bad after the chemo. Bit tired on Friday, but even managed to do some work on Thursday. Energy levels gradually falling, taste dissappearing, stomach whirring but could be worse - no doubt it will be!

I'm here!

Day one and nothing unusual. Been here 8 hours and still waiting to receive some chemo - a record for even the Royal Marsden. Didn't get my PICC line in my arm till 5.30pm after trying both arms, but still waiting for doctors to sign it off as ready to use.

Oh, as I speak (sorry, type) , my chemo has arrived. Due to have Carboplatin for an hour, Etoposide for 2 hours, then another 2 hours of Etoposide, then 4 hours of fluids. Looks like I won't be getting much sleep - my pump sounds like an industrial hoover and I'll be woken every 2 hours.

On the plus side I have one of the bigger rooms on the sunny side of the building. The TV has an integral DVD player rather than the usual video player, I have an internet connected PC in the room (which has Skype and I have a web-cam attached so you can see what a state I'm in) and the chicken and mushrooms for dinner was quiet palatable.

Feels like I've been here before - though 3-4 weeks full-time is a bit different to Mon-Fri. Tired already so will update in the morning.

Well, its morning now. 1 days chemo finished and I'm feeling OK, apart from the effects of the broken sleep. Back to measuring my fluids in and out - I wonder if I'll beat my record of passing 1.1 litre - which was a problem at the time as the container was only 1 litre.

Note for visitors (that's if anyone manages to find the place, and then isn't overcome by the strange combination of antiseptic and hospital kitchen smells that hits you when you walk in the entrance):

1. You have to wash your hands (I realise thats going to be unusual for some of you) with antibacterial gel and put on an apron before entering my room.
2. I'm not allowed to eat fresh-fruit so no grapes please!