All's normal..

...and to cap off a memorable month, my latest check-up which I decided to defer till after the wedding was clear - tumour markers all normal!! Back to the Royal Marsden in November.

Quick Update

Ok, I know I've been remiss in updating, but the fact there is little to report is good news. Back to work, back to normal and haven't had cause to think about the 'c' word until the week before my check-ups. Had two more bi-monthly checks and tumour markers have been normal each time. The trudge over to the Royal Marsden does remind you of what you've been through and importantly is a visible reminder of how many people are currently being affected by cancer. It's sobering to think I'm sitting there feeling relatively fit and healthy, yet there are hundreds of patients, new and old, young and not so young who are coming and going through the RM each and every day, and whose prognosis perhaps is not so fortunate.

As for myself the outlook is one of cautious optimism, as Prof. Dearnley kindly puts it. My history of relapses is such that each clear test is a further milestone.

Just like to again thank everyone for their support over the past few years - I couldn't have done it without you all. It's good news so far...I'll take that, two months at a time!

Back to 'Normal'

Back to the RM last week for my first tumour marker blood test since the op. With the recent fire at the RM in Chelsea the Friday clinic, which is not well known for punctuality, was even busier than normal. Frustratingly, I never get my tumour marker results back on the same day, so seeing the consultant was largely irrelevant. He was impressed by the matching scars and sent me off for a chest x-ray which was fine, and also arranged for a CT scan in four weeks. He promised to call with my tumour marker result the next week. Guessing I would not hear anything and I would have to chase them up, I was surprised to receive a call last Monday morning. My tumour marker was normal (or to be precise, 7, with lower than 10 being classed as normal)!! The best news I could have hoped for! I'd already worked out that with the time elapsed since the op, if there was no other source of cancer, then my markers should have dropped back to normal, but hearing confirmation was the news I'd hoped for.

No real cause for rejoice just yet - I've been here twice before and relapsed but at this stage its the best I can hope for - I'll take that for now!

Been back to work for the past couple of weeks, which is another important piece in the normality jigsaw. Its taken a few days to get my brain into gear, I'm a wee bit of the pace after 8 months off - loads to catch up on (or nothings changed, in some respects).

We've booked a holiday to Dubai in Feb - my first holiday for a year. Fingers crossed that is - we don't have great track record of booking holidays we can actually go on for varying medical reasons!!

Thanks for everyone's support. Not out of the woods yet, but the path is a little clearer!!

"Make sure the scars match!"

"Do you know which bit to take out", seemed a reasonable question (if it were not for the fact that the Royal Marsden were involved). In May I had been aware of two lumps in my right lung - one appeared to be a nodule which had been there sometime, never grown and never appeared active and hence was presumed to be benign. The other had appeared recently and was the focus of my treatment. The subsequent chemo had apparently shrunk the tumour and at my most recent scan it was declared 'hardly visible' (which clearly makes it harder for the surgeon to find). When I was finally admitted for surgery I asked the surgeon if he had seen the scans - the response being a less than inspiring "I'm not sure", but at least he did march off to a computer and brought up my scans on screen. Flicking through the slices of the CT scan he could see nothing but a couple of areas of scar tissue, which he suggested were possible remnants of tumours, and then a small nodule further down my lung that I was pretty sure was the supposed benign lump. 'There it is - I'll whip that out", he declared confidently. I profferred that it may be the benign lump that had been there some time but to no avail. 'I'll take out anything I find" was his parting shot. Less than convinced I did try and contact the consultant from the RM but to no avail, leaving me wholly in the hands of a man I hoped had sensitive fingers.

"Make sure the scars match!" My final request to the surgeon prior to him dissappearing off to the production line, sorry, the theatre, in which he plays the lead role. I was second on his list for the day, leaving an awkward wait between waking up and being prepped, made worse by the fact I was nil by mouth and starving. It was almost midday before they came to take me away. I'd already decided on giving an epidural a go this time round (after deciding on patient-controlled morphine last time). The epidural line into my spine was the only one to go in while I was conscious...........

....woke up in the recovery area of theatre feeling remarkably lucid and pain-free. Then dropped off to awake in the High Dependency Unit about 7pm. Previously the morphine dulled the senses if not all the pain. With the epidural I was wide-awake and pain-free! It was working so well they reduced my epidural to half-flow to prevent my fingers going numb. Tough its doesn't work as well for everybody - the chap opposite was in surgery before me (same op, same surgeon) but was crying out in pain. At first I felt sorry, almost guilty that I was laying there feeling fine and he was in so much pain but as the night wore on my sympathy waned - I couldn't sleep because of his moans, poor chap. In the morning I was instructed to get out of the bed into a chair, a feat more easier than last time - the epidural meant I was far more mobile. After a few more lines removed from varying orifices I walked back to my room, unaided.

The surgeon confirmed he'd removed 5 bits of my lung which were sent for pathology tests. He'd had a good rummage (god knows how he managed to get his hands in) and basically removed anything that moved, or felt the slightest bit abnormal. I trust he left me with sufficient to endure a couple of minutes of physical activity at the very least.

It was difficult to gauge how much pain the epidural was masking. The nurses tested the extent of the epidural scientifically by placing an ice-cube on varying points on my back and checking whether I could feel it. Gradually the effect was reducing and the pain increasing to the point where two days later they turned off the epidural pump and swapped me onto morphine pills and two days later I was discharged, my main side-effect being one of constipation from the morphine. Yep, cancer is a pain in the arse!

....and yes, my scars match!!

Well they found it...!

..my brain that is. The MRI scan confirmed that I do (contrary to some people's misconception perception) have a brain - a remarkably well formed one at that! Oh, and from a tumour point of view the scan appeared to be clear, which leaves the small nodule in my lung as the only identified/visible active tumour. As it stands I'm still waiting for a date for surgery. Normal Royal Marsden service resumed when the surgeon never received the CD of my scans. After much chasing and hassling I managed to get a replacement disc sent, only for them both to arrive on the same day, 2 weeks after my referral! I was hoping to get in quick and be out in time to be relatively fit for Xmas but I should know better than to make plans...!

..another update.

Well I know it's been a little quiet this end - symptomatic of the fact that I'm currently playing the waiting game. My original date for the PET scan was delayed due to the scanner breaking down, which put me back a week. I finally had the PET scan last Wed and met with my consultant to review the results on Friday. The PET scan re-confirms the small tumour in my left lung is showing some activity but that the scan did not pick up anything else (or anything that's within the scanners sensitivity), so it looks like surgery is definitely on the cards. The week before I had asked about the chances of cancer spreading to my other testicle and a week later the consultant 'suddenly' suggested arranging an ultrasound scan of my 'bits' (which were clear) and a MRI scan for my brain - 'just to make sure'. The MRI scan is scheduled for today and I should get the result later in the week - thats presuming they can find my brain!

The morning after the weekend before...

Well I crossed my fingers but should have crossed toes as well. The CT scan showed the tumour in my right lung unchanged and my tumour marker has started to increase. The upshot is the high-dose chemo has not had the desired effect.  The view is that my cancer has become chemo resistant so they see no benefit in going through high-dose chemo and its own associated risk again - it's back to the surgery route as a last option.

I'm due to have a PET scan in the next two weeks in order to check there is nothing else to worry about and then I expect they will get on with surgery pretty quickly - same operation as I had in June but on my right-side. At least I'll have matching scars - it'll look like its where my angel wings have been clippped.

Update

Back to my favourite place today - The Royal Marsden for post-transplant check-up and a CT scan. The blood-test showed my blood has recovered remarkably and its essentially back to normal following the high-dose chemotherapy, which means they can schedule me in for the second lot - 2 weeks today! Thats dependent upon the results of the CT scan and tumour markers, which I'll receive on Friday. It's a strange thing hoping that they'll let me have another hit of high-dose chemo and another transplant - but its infinitely more preferable to them deciding its not worthwhile. High-dose here I come...fingers crossed!!

He's coming home...!!!

Well, a bit of a surprise. The doc came to see me this morning, confirmed my blood counts had risen again and then he casually mentioned I can go home today!! They must need the bed or something!

Have felt much better over the past couple of days. The Urology consultant came to see me yesterday - he was surprised to see me looking so well - it's not normal. He'll arrange tumour marker and CT scan tests over the next couple of weeks before assessing the next step.

Here's a pic of my humble abode. I gave myself a no.2 trim yesterday as my hair started coming out in clumps. Not a problem if I missed a bit with the clippers - I simply pulled out the offending hair and voila!

I can't say I'll be sad to leave but the room has been fine, the nurses have been great, the foods been OK(ish) and the chemo bearable. I'll take that!

Gonna feel a bit funny being back at home. Michelle has a stinking cold so I guess I'l be in the spare room tonight - not that I have the energy for anything else!

Back in the land of the living....

...well, just anyway. Past week has been a blur of sickness, diaorrhea (can anyone spell it?) and excruciating stomach pains as the chemo side effects took hold. As well as my mobile giving up he ghost a week ago (apologies to those messages I havent responded to) I've been too unwell to even sit at the PC. I was basically in the position whereby of I didn't eat, didn't drink and didn't move I was OK'ish. Didn't eat for 4 days, been on IV fluids to keep me hydrated as I couldn't be bothered to drink. And I've had reminders that "I should have had the nasal tube put back in" every day from the nurses - well I've been sick every other day so what would have been the point.? Just started to eat a few cornflakes over past couple of days and feeling much better. My blood count is at its low point and my hair is now falling out in clumps, but I feel I'm on the up (a bit like the Toon!). The only trouble with eating is that I am back exposed to the vagueries of hospital food, which is enough to make you lose your appetite even if you are fully healthy!

There's light.....and it's not a train coming.....I hope!!