Tuesday, 2 October 2007

Transplant Day!

The 'big' day arrived as somewhat of an anticlimax. The perception of a transplant sounds rather grand but in fact involves one nurse wheeling in a Dusty-bin type contraption in which my frozen stem cells (which were a lovely salmon pink colour) are stored, a defrosting bath in which the stem cell bags are then immersed at 40 degrees , before they are transferred to about a dozen large syringes, whence they are pushed up my PICC line by another nurse with a bionic thumb!

One side effect is the smell of sweetcorn, due to the preservative used to store the cells. Apparently it will emminate from within me for the next few days - not good when you're already feeling nauseous!

Due to have a nasal feed tube inserted tomorrow so they can feed me a liquid diet (Guinness, Tennants Super?) while I am asleep.

5 comments:

Peter said...

Sweetcorn won't be the worst smell that has ever eminated from you, old lad!

Louise said...

I'm quite surprised that your cells don't smell of kebab!

Nigel said...

You say the sweetest things...!

Rob said...

Well, you know that sweetcorn can turn up in the strangest of places !

Good luck old lad !

Louise said...

Delia is a darling, but reality is always better!!!
Hope you enjoy these too....

Delia's Way
Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice-cream drips.

The Real Woman's Way
Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for God's sake. You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway.

Delia's Way
To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

The Real Woman's Way
Buy Smash and keep it in the cupboard for up to a year.

Delia's Way
When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking tin, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.

The Real Woman's Way
Tesco sells cakes. They even do decorated versions.

Delia's Way
If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a potato slice.

The Real Woman's Way
If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that's tough sh*t. Please recite with me the Real Woman's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes."

Delia's Way
Wrap celery in aluminium foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks

The Real Woman's Way
It could keep forever. Who eats it?

Delia's Way
Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

The Real Woman's Way
Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and drop it in 8 ounces of vodka. Drink the vodka. You might still have the headache, but you won't give a sh*t?

Delia's Way
If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

The Real Woman's Way
Why do I have a man?


Finally the most important tip

Delia's Way
Freeze leftover wine into ice cubes for future use in casseroles

The Real Woman's Way
left over wine???? Hello??